Coming Back After a “Bad” Breakup!

Dear Tamara:

Why do so many ex-boyfriends always try and come back after a bad breakup?

Tracy P.


Dear Tracy:

I don’t think this is a phenomenon reserved just for ex-boyfriends. In life I think people make hasty decisions based on temporary feelings and emotions and once you have a chance to calm down, rethink, and regroup, you realize you may have made the biggest mistake of your life! I think this happens in relationships more often than not. Because our hearts and feelings are involved we tend to be very emotional and allow our emotions to guide our actions. And depending on the cause and nature of the breakup, moving on may be easier said than done. Many people think they are ready to leave a person and move on to the “next best thing” only to discover that what they previously had really was a good thing! Ever heard of “The Grass is Greener on the Other Side” or the “80-20 Rule?” If you are having this problem consistently, at least you seem to be on the right side of the equation:-)

You also made reference to a “bad” breakup. In my lifetime, I have not seen too many “good” breakups (although I have heard they exist). But I don’t think it makes a difference if it is on good terms or bad terms, breaking up usually causes some type of emotional distress and or anxiety about moving on and finding someone new, even if you aren’t the one doing the breaking up!




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