I Hate My Life and Don’t Know How to Make it Better

l Hate My Life and Don’t Know How to Make it Better

I’m stuck in a rut

Dear Tamara: I am 24 years old (about to turn 25 in three months) and I hate my life! My friends are getting married and starting families. I don’t even have a boyfriend or any real prospects. On top of that, I’m working a dead-end job and making very little money. If it wasn’t for my dad, I couldn’t even afford to pay my monthly rent. My life sucks right now and I don’t know what to do to make it better.

T. Mitchell


Dear T. Mitchell: You are not alone and you are not the first person to proclaim “I hate my life!” Many people have been (and still are) where you are right now, feeling frustrated and unfulfilled. Life has many highs, lows, twists and turns, and yes, sometimes ruts and valleys . We all can experience a funk or fall into a rut  that we are unsure how to climb out of. If you are not satisfied with any part your life, you have the power to change it. That may sound like “hocus pocus,” especially when you are still knee-deep in the rut, but you have the power to change your life! You start by taking full responsibility for where you are right now and making a decision to make some real changes.

Stop comparing yourself to others. You have to get clear about what it is you want in your life. Don’t decide what you want in your life based the things you think other people have in their lives. Take some time to consider what it is you would like to have more of in your life. Once you are clear, go out and get it! 

If you are unhappy with your job start looking for new one. One that better suits you and pays you the salary you desire. This may mean that you need to reassess your skills and qualifications, redo your resume, or get additional education and training. You have to do your homework and take action. A new job is not going to just knock on your door.

If you are searching for a relationship, put yourself in social situations where you can meet someone new. In the meantime, date yourself! Hang out with friends and family. Don’t put all your focus on finding a mate. Instead, take this time to focus on you and get the other areas of your life where you want them to be. Become the best version of you that you can be so that you have something positive to contribute to a new relationship.

You are fortunate to have a parent that can help you when needed, but I also know the importance of being financially independent. If your rent is too high, it may be time to move or maybe consider getting a roommate to help share living expenses. Pare down, look at your budget and see where you can make some changes and possibly save more money.

It looks like there are many things in your life that you would like to change. The good news is that you have the power to make some different choices and change your own life, no one else can do it for you. Don’t try to tackle everything at once. Doing too much can be just as frustrating and overwhelming as doing nothing. Pick a few goals in the most critical areas and begin making changes. Once you accomplish one goal, add something else to your plate. Keep going until you are satisfied and more fulfilled.

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